The Awful Truth About the Cocktail-Hors d’oeuvre Reception

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by Deborah McCoy, American Academy of Wedding Professionals

Many brides- and grooms-to-be consider a cocktail-hors d’oeuvre reception. And it may well be the answer for those who want a semi-formal affair but find a traditional reception too costly. Besides they’re fun and seem not as imposing as their formal counterparts. The problem is catering directors at hotels and wedding properties tend to regard cocktail hors-d’oeuvre receptions negatively. The reason is simple: A sit-down dinner or full-service buffet will generate much more revenue than a cocktail-hors d’oeuvre reception. And it’s the money that counts. Therefore, the bride and groom who want a cocktail-hors d’oeuvre reception may have a very difficult time reserving a Saturday night—or even a Friday night reception.
NOTE: The solution may be to rent a facility where the wedding’s hosts can hire their own caterer—or host the party at their home or the home of relatives and friends. Or, you can book a hotel or catering property on an off-night like Sunday or during the week.

The other issue is seating. During a traditional reception, catering directors urge brides and grooms to limit seating during the cocktail hour. And this makes sense. After all, you want guests up and mingling, not seated at tables with their friends. But a cocktail hour is just that—one hour!
A cocktail-hors d’oeuvre reception, on the other hand, will last three to four hours. You can hardly expect guests to stand, juggling plates of food and drinks, through the course of a reception. Not to mention the comfort/entertainment factor. What are they to do with plates and glasses should they decide to dance? And how long can one stand comfortably in high-heel shoes?
NOTE: The solution is to have seating for everyone and don’t let a catering director sway you otherwise. You are paying for the venue and they work for you, not the other way around. Put this information in your contract.

The structure of this type of reception also changes. For example, there is no “cocktail hour”. After the ceremony, guests go to the reception site where they are fed simple hors d’oeuvres, crudités (vegetable platter), cheeses, wine, and champagne (or the bar may be open), while awaiting the bride and groom who are having photos taken.
After the bride and groom arrive and are introduced, heavy hors d’oeuvres are passed and displayed for guests to help themselves. These may include meatballs, chicken fingers, shrimp or miniature quiche, spears of fresh fruit and vegetables wrapped in pastry. Hors d’oeuvres are displayed for the remainder of the party and may be passed (until dessert is served) while the buffet table is kept replenished with a varied selection of finger-food (or you may have varied stations). State it in your contract. The bar remains open for the remainder of the party and brides and grooms may employ a band or D.J. for dancing. All traditional wedding elements like first dance, father-daughter dance, cake cutting, etc. are observed.

In the example I’m giving you, I suggest that place-cards be used. Because there’s seating for all, place-cards will help get everyone seated in a timely fashion. After all, time at a wedding reception, is of the essence.
NOTE: These types of receptions work well whether you are hosting 100 or 300 guests. It’s important, however, that food be displayed as well as passed if more than 150 people are attending or the guests will spend their time in food lines, the last thing you want at your reception.